amenparis:

If you close your eyes right before Mrs. George’s new boobs hit, your brain will think that you have died. Some people find calmness in this.

at the resturant with bae

waitress: *fills his glass with ice water*
me: *watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
me: you want my man or something?
her: wh-wat?
me: i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
me: I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
me: everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
him: aye calm down
me: nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy

monicatramos:

Just Swim is opening in Copenhagen this Friday! Here’s a preview (close ups) of some of my paintings for the show. Hope you can drop by!

gavindavidofree:

she keeps me warm

officialblueshell:

Omg is it really you… it’s been so long…

luvyourselfsomeesteem:

Eh, I don’t like when people be like “black girls watch out cause white girls getting booty these days” cause to a black girl’s ears it kinda sounds like “watch out because your only value is your fetishized body and once that’s gone you’ll truly be worthless”

barack-obottm:

meanwhile at coachella

lilianlies:

#me about my future

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW

image

NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES

Lay with me Cersei, I incest
Jaime Lannister, probably, at some point (via stupid-fucking-rope)
elise white